Our Current Responsibility to Our Future Selves

"Be present” – stop thinking of and living in the future.  “If it feels good, do it”.  “Just enjoy life, you have a right to be happy.” These words are the social rumblings that flow down the streets we live on, through the doors of our lives influencing our psyche and guiding how we choose to live. On their own these words are attractive and liberating but in context these words carry a certain recklessness and carelessness.

  

No one turns 65 years of age and expects to receive a pension without having paid into a pension fund or becomes ill and expects employment insurance to pay them an income while they recover, if they have not contributed to EI. For these benefits to be available and accessible requires that at one time the individual seeking compensation responsibly contributed to these funds. This individual invested in his future self.

I often encounter individuals at a particular spot in their lives dealing with disappointment, self-doubt and a deep sense of sadness and loss that they are not where they had hoped to be at this stage of their lives. On taking inventory of their lives and journeys it becomes apparent they did not live responsibly with their future selves in mind. Some are financially bankrupt impulsively going after what they wanted and not what they needed. Others are relationally bankrupt having used up their sexuality as currency and are at a time in their lives where they desire meaningful relationship and connection, but are unable to secure it.

Previous generations may bear the legacy of working hard, being future focused, and fearing lack that they did not live present and available lives to their families. Today we have to ask ourselves how far this pendulum has swung and how far out of balance we are? When we enter our future selves are we going to find provision or will we enter a season of bankruptcy where we are searching for value and meaning because we only lived in the moment.  

There are so many social trends these days that living responsively to them can cause the most stable among us to become destabilized and unanchored. Just because it is a trend does not mean that it is right. I encourage you to stop and think about your present responsibility to your future self. Goofing off at school or university is not being responsible to your future self, eating without self-control will have future health consequence, a lack of activity will impact your physical strength and endurance and living un-conscientiously and dis-invested in your mental and emotional health will find you reaching for something that does not exist when you enter your future. 

Sow to where you are going. Invest daily in your everyday day choices towards your future self. Deposit in yourself today the self-respect, integrity and value you wish to have.  Don’t take your health, your sexuality, and your abilities for granted. Make conscious current investments that will bear dividends for your future self because, it is known that we cannot draw out of someone else’s account without getting into trouble …that is for another blog :)

Go ahead live responsibly today with your tomorrow in mind - "Out of sight out of mind."

Courage

According to http://www.thefreedictionary.com/courage courage is, "The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery."

Courageous living is becoming a rarity. We live in a world where we are conditioned to reach for quick fixes, take shortcuts and avoid pain at all costs. We fight from behind computer screens and other social media avenues - okay with our voices being heard and not our faces being seen. You cannot live this way without personal impact. Thinking systems are activated and patterns become entrenched in us when we live lives that lack courage. Lacking courage to address things outside ourselves is only an indicator that we lack courage to address things within ourselves. We are critical of our world and others because we are first critical of ourselves. We express hate and disdain for others because of our own self hate. It takes courage to face these dark places within ourselves instead cowardly projecting our "darkness" on others, especially if we want a different life than the one we have known. 

"Limiting beliefs, false assumptions, and emotional baggage which keeps us small has been conveniently hidden within a deep, dark place within us. We don't even know that it is down there, running our lives and sabotaging our dreams. We believe that we are ideal in many ways. We buy our own propaganda so that we don't have to face our weaknesses and do the work involved to turn them into strengths. It takes tremendous internal strength to go into that darkness that keeps us small in our lives. It takes great inner power to take a serious look at the way we are living and make the mid course corrections that will set us back on track." Robin Sharma

I recently read an article on "Snowplow Parents" who go ahead of their children and circumvent any hardship. The sad truth is that these children are placed at a serious deficit. They do not learn how to overcome adversity, be courageous and become resilient. In these types of realities the ability to live courageously is shut down and cowardice, apathy and the lack of common sense become the realities by which individuals then live their lives. This article gives some insight to why we as families and communities lack the courage to live our lives intentionally and in a meaningful way. We can curb this tide and change our legacies.

You may not have experienced a life where courage was modeled to you. You may not have had "Snowplow" parents, maybe abusive ones or parents who taught you how to cope by escaping into addictions or other ways of living that lacked courage. Your resilience may have been stunted and cowardice has been your normal. The exciting truth is that change is possible. You can cultivate courage and resilience. Work on challenging your fear and discomfort thresholds. Take a risk - do what you have always longed to do. First, work on loving yourself. Take steps to address those things about yourself that you dislike. Go with courage to those "dark" places within yourself so that you can courageously face the challenges outside of yourself. This way you can be kind to that co-worker that others are mean to and embracing of the outcasts at your schools and a speaker of truth against injustice and a bridge in broken relationships. Live courageously today and tomorrow you will find that you are braver, bolder and more resilient. 

Reference

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/snowplow-parents-may-be-trapping-their-children/2013/12/20/4eceb40c-6749-11e3-8b5b-a77187b716a3_story.html